FLIRTING TIPS- PARTING

PARTING: How you leave after flirting is important, and will determine your future relationship with the person you are flirting with.

Many flirtatious encounters are merely brief encounters that help boost the ego. These light-hearted encounters are part of normal social interaction, and only the pathetic or desperate would believe that flirting is the leds to marriage.

Flirting would not be important it did not occasionally serves some more long-term purpose like sex, reproduction, etc. While it is okay to practice our flirting skills just for the fun of it, there will be some occasions when we wish to take the relationship further, and a "Nice meeting you" will not do. This is when the parting words and gestures that you use is important.

People who are in sales knows that there is little point in establishing a great relationship with potential customers, attracting their interest, gaining their trust, etc., if they fail to get the customer to sign on the dotted line. To help them achieve this all-important goal, sales people are specifically trained in how to close a sale.

Likewise, if you are really attracted to your flirting partner, and want to see them again, none of the flirting skills you have read will be much use unless you can close effectively. In this case, your goal in closing is to meet them again.

At the risk of rejection, this is when you must be clear about your wishes. Subtle hints and positive body-language will help you to get to this point, and observing your flirting partner's reactions will tell you if you are going to be successful. By themselves these techniques cannot get you their phone number or a date! You have to ask for their phone number or a date by using the most effective flirting strategy which is simple honesty. You don't have to oversell the idea, just ask: "Would you like to meet again? Maybe sometime next week?" (the exact words are unimportant, but make it a clear request). If you are nervous making a date, say something like: "Perhaps we could meet again sometime - could I have your phone number?"

It is perfectly acceptable for women to take the initiative in asking men out. Men love it when women take the initiative. Men perceive women who take the initiative as more sexually available. To put it more bluntly, if a woman asks them out, they think they have a better chance of "getting lucky".

If you are female, and you don't want to give this impression, offer your own phone number. Say something like: "Maybe we could have a drink sometime? - here's my number". This makes it clear that you are interested, but still that he takes the initiative in asking for a date.

Flirting has been part of human behaviour for thousands of years, and men have always tended towards an over-optimistic interpretation of female signals, and females will always adjust their signals to encourage only selected males.


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FLIRTING TIPS- USING HUMOR

USING HUMOR: It is almost impossible to flirt successfully or enjoyably without the use of humour.Humour used properly can be a powerful flirting tool but it can easily backfire if abused or misused.

On the positive side, people that use humour are looked upon as more likeable. Trust and attraction increase when a light-hearted humour is used. The use of humour can reduce anxiety and establish a relaxed mood which helps a relationship to develop more rapidly. A slightly sexual joke or comment can raise the level of intimacy in a flirtatious conversation.

Inappropriate use of humour can ruin your chance for a successful romance. Making a sexual joke or comment too early, especially before a realtionship has been established, is the verbal equivalent of a bra snap. Males are more likely to make this kind of fatal mistake than women. Women, should be extra cautious in their use of sexual humour, as men are inclined to interpret this as a sign of sexual availability.

Humour is an essential part of flirting if you avoid causing offence or giving misleading signals. Flirting is by definition a light-hearted, playful form of social interaction. Flirting can lead to a serious, long-term relationship, but avoid too much seriousness in the early stages of flirting. The ability for light-hearted playfulness is equally important in the longer term relationships.

To help reduce tension and awkwardness in the early stages of flirting use humour. In my web page on opening lines, I advised the use of universally recognised conversation-starters, such as comments on the weather. Humour can help make beginning converstion more effective. A simple ironic twist such as "Beautiful day, isn't it?" during a blizzard or major rain storm will raise a smile if your target finds you attractive.

After mutual attraction has been established, the use of humour when flirting come naturally. It is a very natural instinct to try to make the other person smile. Constant reassurance that we are liked and appreciated, and smiles and laughter provide that reassurance by the person we like.

Playful teasing, is common when fliritng. Playful teasing or flirting helps partners increase the personal sharing between people and keeps the tone light-hearted and non-serious, and helps to escalate the level of disclosure and intimacy in a non-threatening manner. Males respond well to this form of humour, as it resembles the good-humoured exchanges of insults which are their normal means of expressing friendship among males.

The most common mistakes in flirting using is humour that overusing humour or monopolising the joke-telling, and failing to notice the person you are flirting with is bored or becoming frustrated. Women are more cautious in their use of humour, while men are more inclined to avoid heart-to-heart emotional seriousness.

If you feel you that you use excessive or inadequate use of humour. Watch carefully for signs of boredom or embarrassment - such as feet or body turning away from you, forced smiles, reduced eye-contact, reduced verbal attention-signals, fidgeting, defensive arm-crossing, etc. If you are overdoing the humour, these are your some of your signs to tone it down a bit. If you are being too serious, try to lighten up!




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FLIRTING TIPS- EXCHANGING INFO!

EXCHANGING PERSONAL INFO: The most important thing about flirting is the exchanging of personal information. The conversation can hardly be called a flirting unless partners share some personal information.

When you first meet, sharing of personal information, even something like the weather or favourite sport, is a step towards intimacy.

If your partner discloses some such detail, you should share some similar information about yourself, perhaps something a little more personal. If the person you are flirting with likes you, they will most likely match your sharing with something similar. This kind of disclosure is a much more subtle and less threatening than asking direct personal questions.

The secret of successful flirting is to raise the level of intimacy gradually, try to maintain a balance between your sharing and the other person. Try not to reveal too much, or reveal too little.

If you are a male try not interpret disclosure of personal information from the other person as a sign of sexual availability.




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FLIRTING TIPS- LISTENING

LISTENING: Being a good listener have a distinct advantages in the flirting game. Even though this helps being a good listener is more than shutting up and letting the other person talk. Good listening skills is essentially about giving feedback, which involves giving both verbal and non-verbal signals to show that you are paying attention, and interested.

Effective body language signals are nodding, smiling, responsive facial expressions and leaning forwards. Good verbal feedback signals include the use of expressions such as "mm-hmm", "yeah", "mmm", "ah" to show agreement or interest and to encourage the other person to continue talking.

These basic feedback signals are highly effective in winning friends and influencing people. Even just a few nods can significantly improve your chances when flirting.

Another effective listening technique is to "paraphrase". To show that you are paying attention and interested, and to encourage your partner to continue talking, occasionally sum up what they have said, as in "…so you are enjoying your vacation?" Paraphrasing is very helpful if your partner seems a bit shy, insecure or anxious, it will make them feel more confident about talking to you.

You may have noticed that the question at the end of the "paraphrasing" example was an "open" question, rather than a "closed" question which requires only a yes or no response. If you want to encourage your partner to talk, try to ask more open questions, such as "What kind of food do you like?" than closed questions such as "Do you like Chinese food?"

Open questions begin with one of the following words: Who, What, When, Where, How, Why. Open questions are effective in informal social conversation - particularly in flirting!



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FLIRTING TIPS - TALKING

TALKING: No one can tell you exactly what words to use, when flirting, but it is possible to provide some general guidelines on what to talk about, and how to express yourself, particularly in terms of mistakes and pitfalls to avoid.

Here is a list of real turn-off's:
(1)Being negative, talking too much about the bad side of life, and constantly complain about the world or your own problems.

(2)Talking too much about yourself and showing too little interest in others.

(3)Only talking about superficial things, repeating jokes and stories.

(4)Talking too slowly, pausing too long, taking too long to make a point.

(5)Failing to take full part in the conversation or express opinions.

(6)Talking in a monotone, not making eye-contact, expressing too little emotion.

(7)Using a serious tone of voice and expression, even when your partner is trying to be light-hearted or humorous.

(8)Easily sidetracked, engaging in meaningless chatter, too much slang.

Compliments, are almost always welcomed, and do not have to be witty or original. Do not be afraid of paying simple compliments such as "That's a nice jacket" or "That colour really looks nice on you", as they can be very effective.

Clearly, excessive use of compliments will make you seem artifically sweet, and the person you are flirting with might get bored with too much overwhelming niceness. Of all the ways you can bore someone, this is the least offensive way.

As a matter of basic social skills, males should avoid paying women embarrassing or offensive compliments. Some men need to learn that it is entirely possible to convey to a female friend or acquaintance that you find her physically attractive, without being rude.

A simple, admiring comment such as "You look lovely" or "You look pretty" or "You look stunning" is enough. Anything more detailed will cause embarrassment or offence. Make sure that the body-language is right as well: address the compliment to her face, not to her chest and without your eyes travelling up and down her body.

There are times, places and situations where a comment on a woman's appearance, no matter how innocent, would be inappropriate and potentially offensive. Only comment on a woman's appearance

(1) if you know her well enough and not as an opening line.(2) At times, places and situations where appearance is relevant - i.e. where it would be acceptable to comment on a man's appearance. If the situation is not one in which you would compliment a male acquaintance on his flattering new jacket or haircut, do not comment on a her appearance either.

Do not comment on a woman's figure unless you know her well, this compliment might please a girlfriend or close female friend.




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FLIRTING TIPS- VERBAL FLIRTING

VERBAL FLIRTING: Although first impressions depends more on your appearance, body language and voice than on what you actually say, successful flirting also requires good conversation skills.

Know the rules of conversation, the unwritten laws of talking and listening. The most enjoyable conversations may seem entirely spontaneous, but the people involved are still obeying rules. The difference is that they are following the rules automatically, without consciously trying. But understanding how the rules of conversation work will help you in conversations and to flirt more successfully

Because women have better verbal and communication skills and are more socially sensitive, they tend to be more skilled at informal social conversation than men. But men can easily learn to be as skilled in the art of conversation by following a few simple rules. Men who take the trouble to improve their conversation skills have a definite advantage when flirting .

OPENING LINES

When the subject of flirting comes up, people seem to be obsessed with the using the right opening lines. Men talk about lines that work and hat have failed! While women laugh about men's use of opening lines, and all of us, would like to find the perfect, way to strike up a conversation with someone we find attractive.

Your opening line is not very important, The fact is that opening lines are seldom original, witty or elegant, and you should not expects them to be. The best opening lines are simple attempts to start a conversation.

Everyone knows that "Nice day, isn't it?" is a basic conversation starter and will do just fine. Just cause this opening line sounds like a questions, does not mean that you are unsure about the weather, it means that the you are trying to start a conversation.

A friendly response with positive body language, means "Yes, I'll talk to you"! But a expressionless response with body-language showing lack of interest means "No, I don't want to talk to you"! Also no verbal response at all, with body language signalling annoyance or dislike, means "Leave me alone!".

If you are indoors say something like "Isn't it a bit crowded in here?" or "Not much happening in here tonight, eh?") or commenting on the food, drink, music, etc., will serve same purpose as the weather comment. The words are unimportant, just make a vague, impersonal comment, either phrased as a question or as though you were asking a question.

This formula is extremely effective as a method of initiating conversation with strangers. This type of comment is unthreatening and non-intrusive; the questioning tone or 'isn't it?' ending invites a response and is not as demanding as a direct or open question.

The direct question demands and requires a reply, the interrogative comment allows the other person to respond minimally, or not respond at all, if he or she does not wish to talk to you.

In some social contexts - such as those involving sports, hobbies, learning, business or other activities having shared interests makes starting a conversation much easier. Your opening line can ask about the activity in question. There may even be a ritual procedure to follow for initiating conversation with a stranger. At a dance, for example, you can ask "Do you know if they have these dances regularly?" or something similiar.

Just make a general, impersonal comment on the event, activity, circumstances or surroundings, with a rising intonation or "isn't it?" type of ending. The person that you are trying to flirt with will recognise this as a conversation-starter, and their response will tell you immediately whether or not it is welcomed.

Generally, the longer the response, the better. If your target responds to your comment and gives ananswer of the same length or longer, this is a good sign. A personalised response, i.e. one including the word 'I' (like "Yes, I love this weather") is even more positive. A personalised response ending in a question or interrogative (rising) intonation (as in "I thought it was supposed to clear up by this afternoon?") is even better, and a personalised response involving a personalised question, i.e. a response including the words 'I' and 'you', is the most positive of all.

So, if you say "Nice day, isn't it?" and your target replies "Yes, I was getting so tired of all that rain, aren't you?", you are definitely in with a chance. There is nothing original, witty or clever about the above exchange. Don't dismiss the answer as polite, boring and insignificant. In fact, a great deal of vital social information has been exchanged. The opening comment has been recognised as a friendly invitation to a conversation, the invitation has been accepted, they have revealed something about themself , expressed interest in you, and even suggested that you might have something in common!

The biggest mistake most people make with opening lines is to try to start a flirtation, rather than simply trying to start a conversation. If you think about your opening line as starting a conversation, rather than starting a flirtation, and pay close attention to the verbal and body language response, you cannot go wrong. Even if they do not find you attractive and avoids your invitation to talk, you will avoid causing offence and you will avoid the humiliation of a direct rejection.



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FLIRTING TIPS- VOCAL SIGNALS

VOCAL SIGNALS: Vocal signals such as tone of voice, pitch, volume, speed of speech, etc. are like body-language in that they are not about what you say or the words you use, but how you say it.

While body language may be your most important flirting tool, vocal signals come a very close second. The more you think about that , the more concerned you should be that your vocal signals make the best possible impression. Reading the vocal signals of the person you are flirting with will also help you to find out how they really feels about you.

Attraction and interest are communicated by the tone of voice than by what is actually said. Depending on the tone, volume, speed and pitch, even a simple phrase such as "Good evening" can mean anything from "Wow, you're hot" to " Move on and get away from me as quickly as possible".

If your target gives you a slow, deep low pitched, "Good evening", with a slight rise in pitch at the end, like asking a question, this is can be an indication of attraction or interest. If you get a short, high-pitched, expressionless "Good evening", they are probably not interested.

When in conversation, remember that the intonation of even a single word can communicate an immense variety of emotions and meanings. Try practising using variations in your voice for the word "Yeah", and you will find that you can communicate anything from total agreement to reluctant acceptance to scepticism or total disbelief.

Speaking with little variation in pitch, pace or tone of voice, you will be thought of as boring and dull, even if you are saying something fascinating or amusing. Loud booming tone and too much variation in pitch will make you seem overbearing. Speak too quietly or too slowly and you will seem submissive or even depressed. Aim for moderation in volume and tone, and pitch and pace to hold their interest.

Remember that a rising or falling intonation, especially when accompanied by a drop in volume, signals that they have finished talking and are ready to listen to you. When you hear these vocal signals, your companion is probably indicating that it is your turn to speak. When your companion hears these signals, they might assume that it is their turn to talk. Do not frequently end sentences on a rising or falling intonation, with a drop in volume, and then continue talking without allowing them to speak, they will soon become frustrated. Taking your turn when your companion has not given any cues, even if he or she has finished a sentence, will be perceived as interruption, and rude.



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FLIRTING TIPS- FACIAL GESTURES!

FLIRTING FACIAL GESTURES: An ability to understand facial expressions will improve your chances of successful flirting, as well as knowing what you are signalling with your own expressions.

Some expressions can be effective even from a distance,the "eyebrow-flash", for example, which is raising the eyebrows very briefly is universally known and used as a long-distance greeting signal.

When you see someone you know, but are not near enough to speak, the eyebrow-flash shows that they have been noticed and recognised.

Use this non-verbal "Hello!" in situations where we cannot use the verbal equivalent, either because of distance or social convention.

If you are desperate to attract the attention of an attractive stranger across a crowded party, you could try the "eyebrow-flash". The person that you are trying to flirt with might think that you must be a friend or acquaintance, even though they do not recognise you.

When you approach, may be already be wondering who you are. You can use this confusion to initiate a lively discussion about where you might have met before. Such conversations start with possible shared interests or friends or habits, and sooner or later involve mutual disclosure of personal information.

So, assuming your target finds you attractive, an eyebrow-flash with appropriate follow-up could leapfrog you into instant intimacy.

If your target does not find you attractive, the eyebrow-flash strategy may backfire.

If your target is attracted to you, this may be more obvious from facial expressions than by words. Women are generally better than men at reading these expressions, but both have equal difficulty in seeing through people's expressions when they are controlling their faces to hide their real feelings.

Although faces do express genuine feelings, any facial expression that occur naturally can also be artificial for social purposes.

Smiles and frowns, can be spontaneous expressions of happiness or anger, but they can also be manufactured as deliberate signals, such as frowning to indicate doubt or displeasure or smiling to signal approval or agreement, etc.

We rely more on facial expressions than on any other form of body language. When communicating, we watch our companions' faces rather than their hands or feet, and their facial signals to tell us what effect we are having, and how to interpret what they say.

Although people are better at controlling their facial expressions than other aspects of body language, the following clues will help you to detect insincerity.

Let's say the person that you are flirting with smiles at you. How do you know whether this smile is real or fake? There are four ways of telling the difference.

First, real smiles produce wrinkles around the eyes, which will not appear if the smile is forced out of politeness.

Second, fake smiles tend to be asymmetrical (stronger on the left side of the face in right-handed people and on the right side of the face in left-handed people).The third clue to insincerity is in the timing of the smile: unspontaneous smiles tend to occur at socially inappropriate moments in the conversation (e.g. a few seconds after you have made a funny remark, rather than immediately).

Finally, there is a clue in the duration of the smile, as a fake smile tends to be held for a longer time and then disappear.

When observing facial expressions, remember that although an expressive face - showing amusement, surprise, agreement etc. at the appropriate moments and may indicate that they return your interest, people do naturally differ in their degree and style of emotional expression.

Women naturally smile more than men, and show emotions more clearly in their facial expressions.

You are also likely to interpret expressions differently depending on who is making them. People may read the same expression as "fear" when they see it on a female, but as "anger" when it appears on a male.

If an attractive stranger smiles at you, it could be that they find you attractive, but they could also be an outgoing, sociable person who smiles a lot.

When considering the effect of your own facial expressions, these factors must also be taken into account. People tend to be put off by levels of expressiveness that are considerably higher or lower than what they are used to, so try to match the amount of emotion you express with your face to the person you are flirting with.

Your face should be constantly informative during a flirtatious conversation. A blank face, can be taken as lack of interest when you are listening and an absence of facial emphasis when you are speaking can be disturbing to the viewer.

Show interest and understanding when listening, and to show interest and comprehension when speaking, through facial signals such as eyebrows raised to display surprise or for emphasis; the corners of the mouth turning up in amusement; nodding to indicate agreement; frowning in puzzlement; smiling to show approval, or to indicate that what you are saying should not be taken too seriously, and so on.

Finally, remember that the person you are flirting with is likely to be watching you for tiny signs of insincerity, so a social smile will be more attractive than none at all.

FLIRTING TIPS- TOUCH!

TOUCH:Touching is a powerful, subtle and complex form of communication. Touch can be used to convey a surprising variety of messages. Different touches can be used to express agreement, affection, or attraction; to offer support; to emphasise a point; to call for attention or participation; to direct; to greet; to congratulate; to establish or reinforce power-relations and to negotiate levels of intimacy.

Even the lightest touch can have a influence on our perceptions and relationships. Even a light, brief touch on the arm during an encounter between strangers has both immediate and lasting positive effects. Polite requests for help or directions, produced much more positive results when accompanied by a light touch on the arm.

When flirting, it is therefore important to remember that the language of touch, if used correctly, can help to advance the relationship, but use of this wrongly and you could ruin your chances forever.

Here are a few basic rules-of-thumb for first encounters with strangers of the opposite sex.

The first rule, for both sexes, is: touch, but be careful. Women are much less comfortable about being touched than men. Take care to avoid any touches which may seem threatening or over-familiar. Men shouldn't interpret women's touching as sexual invitations.

Appropriate touching will have positive benefits, but touching should initially be restricted to universally acceptable areas and levels. As a general rule, the arm is the safest place to touch A brief, light touch on the arm, to draw attention, express support or emphasise a point, is likely to be acceptable and to enhance your companion's positive feelings towards you.

Unless your companion is exceptionally shy and reserved, negative reactions to a simple arm-touch such as pulling the arm away probably indicate dislike or distrust.

If your companion finds you likeable or attractive, after a brief arm-touch, watch for other positive body-language signals, such as increased eye-contact, moving closer to you, more open posture or postural echo, more smiling, etc. Your arm-touch may even prompt an increase in verbal intimacy, so listen for any disclosure of personal information, or more personal questions.

If there are signs of a positive reaction to your arm-touch, you can try another arm-touch, this time touch a little longer. If this results in more signs ofintimacy from your companion, you might consider moving to a hand-touch.

A hand-touch, other than a sign of greeting or parting, is more personal than an arm-touch. By touching your companion's hand, you are opening negotiations towards more intimacy, so touch the hand lightly and briefly. Make it a question, not an order.

A negative reaction to your hand-touch, does not necessarily mean that your companion dislikes you, but it can indicate that your attempt to advance to the next level is either premature or unwelcome. A very positive reaction, can be taken as permission to try another hand-touch at an appropriate moment later on.

Positive reactions to a second hand-touch such as moving closer to you, reciprocal arm- and hand-touching, along with more personal questions, more disclosure of personal information and more expression of emotion - can be taken as permission to proceed, with caution, to nextlevel of intimacy. The next stages might involve a hand-squeeze or hand-hold, repeated twice before moving on to an arm over the shoulders, or perhaps a brief knee-touch. However any positive reactions to any of these touches can not be taken as permission to grope.)

Perform each touch two times before moving to the next level. By repeating the same touch, with a slightly longer period of time, you can check that reactions are still positive and acceptable. the double touch also tells your companion that the first touch was not accidental or unconscious, that you are looking for an increase in intimacy. Repeating the same touch before moving to the next level is a way of saying "Are you sure?".

FLIRTING TIPS- FLIRTING POSTURES!

FLIRTING POSTURE:
Most of us can maintain an expression of polite interest, such as nodding when we do not agree! On the other hand, we tend to be less conscious of what the rest of our body is doing.

We may be smiling and nodding, but we show our disagreement with tightly folded arms. This is known as sending mixed signals, while we're busy controlling our words and faces, our real feelings show in our posture.

When flirting, you should be on watch for signs of this in their posture, and try to send the right signals with your own posture.

Their mixed signal can give you advance warning when your approach isn't working. If their head is turned towards you, while the rest of the body pointed in another direction, this is a sign that you do not have your partner's full attention.

Even just the feet starting to turn and "point" away from you can be a sign that their attention is directed elsewhere, or that they are thinking about moving away. Leaning backwards and supporting the head on one hand are signs of boredom. Closed postures with arms folded and legs tightly crossed express disagreement or dislike.

Positive signs to keep an eye for are their body is oriented towards you, particularly if they are also leaning forward, in an open posture.

These are signs of attentiveness and interest or liking. Females are more likely to tilt their heads to one side when they are interested in the person they are talking to. Do not automatically assume that these signs indicate sexual interest.

Another positive sign is when your partner unconsciously adopts a posture similar to yours. Mirror imaging where one person's left side copies the other person's right side - are the strongest indication of harmony and rapport between the pair.

If the position of your partner's body and limbs appear to mirror your own, particularly if their posture is the exact of yours, the chances are that they feel an closeness to you.

When flirting, you can also use mirror image to create a feeling of togetherness and harmony. Even though people are not consciously aware of someone deliberately copying their postures, they look upon the person who does this more favourably.

When you copy their postures, they will not only feel more at ease in your company, but will perceive you as more like-minded.

Males adopt postures which make them appear taller, larger and more impressive, such as placing hands in pockets with elbows out to enlarge the chest, or leaning one hand at above shoulder height on a wall to appear taller and more imposing.

Females either adopt postures which make them look smaller, such as drawing the knees towards the body when seated, or postures which draw attention to physical attributes, such as arching the back to display the breasts, or to draw attention to their legs crossing and re-crossing them.

FLIRTING TIPS- FLIRTING GESTURES!

FLIRTING GESTURES: The gestures that we use can signal interest, attraction and invitation - or discomfort, dislike and rejection.

When flirting, it is important to be aware of these cues, both in "reading" their body-language and in controlling the messages you are sending with your own gestures.

In conversation, gestures are mainly used to enliven, clarify and "punctuate" our speech, or to show understanding to what the other person is saying. In a flirtatious encounter, the amount of gestures, the directions of the gestures and the co-ordination of gestures can indicate the degree of interest and involvement your partner feels towards you.

Generally, however, someone who is interested in you will be more lively and animated in conversation, using more gestures when speaking in order to keep your attention, and more responsive gestures to show interest when you are speaking.

Similarly, you can signal in your partner, and keep their attention focused on you, by enhancing your speech with appropriate gestures: shifting your hands or head slightly at the end of sentences, using downward hand movements to emphasise a point. When your partner is speaking, you can show responsiveness by nodding in agreement, throwing up your hands in surprise, bringing them together in a "silent clap" of appreciation, etc.

Nodding can be used to control conversations. If you make single, brief nods while your partner is speaking, this a simple signs of attentiveness, which will maintain the flow of communication from the speaker. Double nods will change the rate at which the other person speaks, usually speeding up the flow, while triple nods or single, slow nods often interrupt the flow altogether, confusing the speakers that they might stop in their tracks. So, if you want to express interest and keep them talking with you, stick to brief single nods.

You can also watch for gestures which indicate anxiety and nervousness, such as hand-clasping movements and palm-rubbing. Basically anxious gestures are directed towards the anxious person's own body, while movements, directed away from the body, are a sign of confidence. As well as watching for these signals in your partner, you can control the impression you are making by using more confident, outward gestures.

As with posture, the greatest involvement and harmony is achieved when gestures of one person are echoed or reflected by the other. You may have noticed that this tends to happen a lot between people who like each other. Watch lovers in a bar or pub, and you will see that they often tend to lift their drinks and sip at the same time, and that many of their other body movements and gestures will be similar.

You can use this technique as a highly effective flirting technique. If you feel the conversation is not flowing easily, or seems awkward and uncomfortable, try to be more sensitive to the patterns of their gestures and body movements, and to reflect these in your own body language.

If the person that you are flirting with begins to copy their body language with yours, this is a sign that they are comfortable with you. Do not assume that this necessarily indicates sexual interest.

Female hair-flipping and head-tossing were among the gestures most often regarded as sexually flirtatious, along with repeated leg-crossing and movements designed to draw attention to their breasts.
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FLIRTING TIPS - FLIRTING DISTANCE

FLIRTING DISTANCE: The distance between you and the other person when flirting is important, simply because it affects his or her impression of you, and the quality of your interaction.

Perhaps even more importantly, paying attention to the other person's use of distance will tell you a great deal about their reactions and feelings towards you.

When you first approach an attractive stranger, having established an indication of mutual interest through eye contact,before moving any closer try to make eye contact again at about 4ft away.

At 4 ft, you are on the borderline between what are known as the "social zone" which is approximately from 4 to 12 ft and the "personal zone" which is approximately 18in to 4ft.

If you receive a positive response at 4ft, move to "arm's length" which is approximately about 2ft 6inches. If you approach much closer than this, especially within the 18in "personal/intimate zone" border, they may feel uncomfortable.

The "intimate zone" which is approximately less than 18inches is reserved for lovers, family and very close friends. If you are close enough to whisper and be heard, you are probably too close for comfort.

Especially in face-to-face encounters, these distance rules apply . When we are side by side with someone, it is easier to tolerate close distances.

This is because when you are alongside someone, it is easier just to turn away or avoid eye contact, which limits your involvement with the other person.

At the bar counter of a pub, you can therefore approach a bit closer than "arm's length" if you are alongside your target. Avoid "intrusive" body-language such as prolonged eye contact or touching.

The other person's discomfort wil show in their body language, if you have misjudged the appropriate distance. They may attempt to turn away or avert their gaze to avoid eye contact.

You may also see "barrier signals" such as folded or tightly crossed legs, or rubbing the neck with the elbow pointed towards you. If you see any of these signs, back off!

Finally, remember that different personalities may also react differently to your approach. Extroverts and anyone who feel at ease in company will be comfortable with closer distances than introverts and shy or nervous types.

Even the same person may vary from day to day, according to mood: when we are feeling depressed or irritable, we find close distances more uncomfortable.

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FLIRTING TIPS- NON-VERBAL FLIRTING

When members of the opposite sex meet for the first time, they are in a difficult, ambiguous and potentially risky situation.

Neither person knows what the other's intentions and feelings towards them are. Because expressing intentions and feelings verbally involves a high risk of embarrassment or possible rejection, body language becomes the main expression of communication.

Unlike words, body language can signal invitation, acceptance or refusal without being too obvious, without causing offence or making binding commitments.

The non-verbal flirting techniques contained in this section are powerful signals, and please use with caution.

Women should be extra careful when using these signals of interest and attraction as men can and often mistake friendliness for flirting and if your signals of interest are too direct and obvious, men will mistake them for sexual availability.

EYE CONTACT: Your eyes are probably your most important flirting tool. We think that our eyes are primary used for receiving information, but they are also senders of social signals.

How you look at another person, meet their gaze and look away can make all the difference between a successful, enjoyable flirtation and an embarrassing or hurtful moment.

Looking directly into the eyes of another person - is such a powerful act of communication that we normally use it for very brief glances.

Prolonged eye contact between two people indicates intense emotion, and can express love or hostility. Among a crowd of strangers in a public setting, eye contacts will generally last only a fraction of second, and most people avoid making any eye contact at all.

Even from across a crowded room at a party, you can signal your interest in someone merely by making eye contact and attempting to hold your target's gaze for more than one second (do not do this longer, or you will seem threatening).

If the person you are interested maintains eye contact with you for more than one second, the chances are that they might be interested. If after this first contact, your target looks away briefly and then looks back to meet your gaze a second time, you can safely assume that they are interested. If you receive a smile, you can approach your target with some confidence.

If your target avoids making eye contact with you, or looks away after a fraction of a second and does not look back again, you should probably assume that the person is not interested. Unless they are just a very shy person - and some females are wary of signalling any interest in male strangers. The only way to find out is by close observation of your target's behaviour towards others.

Does she consistently avoid direct eye-contact with men? Does he seem nervous, anxious or aloof in his interactions with other women? If so, your target's reluctance to meet your gaze may be nothing personal, and it might be worth approaching, but only with considerable caution.

Once you have approached your target, you will need to make eye contact again in order to strike up a conversation. As soon as your eyes meet, begin to speak. Once a conversation begins, it is normal for eye contact to be broken as the speaker looks away.

In conversations, the person who is speaking looks away more than the person who is listening, and turn-taking is governed by a characteristic pattern of looking, eye contact and looking away.

So, to signal that you have finished speaking and invite a response, look back at your target again. To show interest while your target is speaking, you need to look at their face for about three-quarters of the time, in glances lasting between one and seven seconds.

The person speaking will normally look at you for less than half this time, and direct eye contact will be intermittent, rarely lasting more than one second. When your target has finished speaking, and expects a response, he or she will look at you and make brief eye contact again to indicate that it is your turn.

The basic rules are: glance at the other person's face more when you are listening, glance away more when you are speaking and make brief eye contact to initiate turn-taking. The key words here are "glance" and "brief": avoid prolonged staring either at the other person or away.

The most common mistake people make when flirting is to overdo the eye contact in a premature attempt to increase intimacy.

This only makes the other person feel uncomfortable, and may send misleading signals. Some men also blow their chances by having a conversation with a woman's breasts, rather than her face.




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FLIRTING TIPS- HOW TO FLIRT!

The first key to successful flirting is not to show off and impress or be a braggart, to show that you like someone. If the person knows that you find them interesting and attractive, they will be more inclined to like you.

You don't have to be a rocket scientists to prove it. You already know that when you are told someone find you attractive, or hear that someone has said something nice or that they admired you, you automatically become more interested in this person- even if it a person that you have never met!

Showing that you like someone, and knowing whether or not the attraction is mutual, involves a combination of verbal and non-verbal communication skills.
When asked about flirting, most people are more worried about the verbal element: the problems of knowing what to say, finding the right words, etc.

In fact, body-language, tone of voice, etc. - is much more important, especially in the first stages of any flirtation.

When you first meet new people, their first impression of you will be based on your appearance and body-language, on your style of speaking and lastly on what you actually say.

Their body lanquage will tell you much more about their feelings towards you than the words they use. People show attitudes such as liking and disliking by the way they say it and the gestures, posture, and expressions that they use when they speak.

A typical polite greeting such as "pleased to meet you", for example, can mean anything from "I think you are attractive" to "Sorry, not interested in you", depending on the tone of voice, body language of the speaker.


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FLIRTING TIPS- WHO TO FLIRT WITH!

FLIRTING FOR FUN!

Basically, you can flirt with more or less anyone. An exchange of admiring glances or a bit of light-hearted flirtatious talk can brighten the day, raise self-esteem and help you make friends. Flirtation at this basic level is harmless fun, and no one could possibly have any objections.

Do not intentionally flirt with people who are married or attached. Most people in long-term relationships can cope with a bit of flirting, and may even benefit from
knowing that others find them or their partners attractive, but couples differ in their tolerance of flirtatious behaviour, and it is important to be alert to signs of discomfort or distress.

Men have a tendency to mistake friendly behaviour for sexual flirting. This is not because we are stupid or deluded, but because we see the world in more sexual terms than women.

Women need to be particularly careful to avoid sending ambiguous signals in interactions with married men, and men need to be aware that married/attached males may misinterpret friendly behaviour towards their wives/girlfriends. Otherwise, light-hearted flirtation is both harmless and enjoyable.

INTENTIONAL FLIRTING:
But flirting is also an essential element of the mate-selection process, and when you are "intentional flirting", rather than just 'flirting for fun', you need to be a bit more selective about your choice of target.

In looking for a mate, follow these two basic rules about who to flirt with and you will increase your chances of success and reduce embarrassing
rejections.

1. Do initiate flirtation with people of roughly the same level of attractiveness as yourself?

Women are more critical of their own physical appearance than man. This is partly because beauty standards for males are much less than for females, and a wider variety of shapes and features are considered attractive. But some men are also inclined to overestimate their attractiveness. If you are honest male, and do not consider yourself good-looking, remember that most men lack expertise social interaction, so polishing up your flirting skills could give you the edge over a more handsome rival.

2. Don't flirt with people who are unlikely to return your interest.

Even if you are not looking for a long-term mate, you will enjoy flirting more with someone who is interested in you. So it makes sense to approach people who are likely to see you as at least a possible partner, rather than those likely to dismiss you as unsuitable.




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FLIRTING TIPS- FLIRTING IN THE WORKPLACE

WORKPLACE: At work, flirting is usually acceptable only in certain areas, with certain people and at specific times or occasions. Each workplace or working environment has its own unwritten rules regarding
flirting.

In some companies, the coffee machine or cafeteria may be the area to flirt, other companies may frown on any flirting during office hours, or between managers and staff, while others basically have
no such rules.

Careful watching your co-workers is the best way to discover the unspoken flirting rules of your own workplace, make sure that you watch the behaviour of the most highly regarded individuals in your
company, not the people who do not have much of a future in your company.

PARTICIPANT SPORT OR HOBBIES: Almost any sport or hobby can involve flirting. The level of flirting tends to be related to the standards of the participants and their enthusiasm towards the sport or hobby.

You will generally find a lot of flirting among beginners to the sport or hobby and less flirting among the more serious, competitive participants . There are of course exceptions to this rule, but
before joining a team or club, it is worth trying to find out if the members have burning ambitions to play in the national championships or win prestigious awards for their handiwork. If you are
just looking for opportunities to flirt, avoid the serious groups, and seek out clubs full of happy, sociable under-achievers.

SPECTATOR EVENTS: Although most sporting events and other spectator pastimes (such as theatre or cinema) have the advantage of providing conversation topics of mutual interest, they are not good places to
flirt, because social contact may limited to a short interval or breaks or require "missing the action".




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FLIRTING TIPS- WHERE TO FLIRT!

PARTIES: Flirting is acceptable at parties, celebrations or other social events. At these events (e.g. Christmas/New Year Office parties) flirting is almost expected. The reason for this is that at most
parties or celebrations, social rules are temporarily relaxed. This does not mean abandoning all your inhibitions, letting it rip and behaving exactly as you please.

DRINKING PLACES: Flirting is also socially acceptable where alcohol is served, such as bars, pubs, night-clubs, restaurants, etc.

Flirting in drinking-places is, however, subject to more conditions and restrictions than at parties. In pubs, for example, the area around the bar counter is understood to be the "public zone", where initiating conversation with a stranger is acceptable, whereas sitting at a table usually indicates a desire for privacy. Tables furthest from the bar counter are usually the most
"private" zones.

Most food-oriented places frown upon flirting between strangers, while those dedicated to drinking or dancing encourage it.

PLACES OF EDUCATION: Because they are full of young single people, Schools, colleges, universities and other educational places are good places for flirting. Because of the shared lifestyle and the informal
atmosphere, and the concerns of the student, it easy for them to initiate conversation with each other. Simply by being students, they all ready have a lot in common, and do not need to struggle to
find topics to talk about.

Flirting is officially somewhat more frowned upon in places of education than in drinking-places, as getting an education is supposed to be more important than socializing, but in many cases the difference is not very noticeable. Taking a course or evening class provides better chances for relaxed, enjoyable flirting than frequenting bars and night-clubs.

GROCERY STORE: The Grocery Store has been and always will be one of the best pick up spots for singles. Notice that when you go shopping for groceries, you will never see so many single people staring at each
other without alcohol in their systems.

The way to flirt at a grocery store is bring a grocery list, after you have a few things in your cart and you happen to see that hot person, you had your eyes on near the frozen hamburgers you
can walk over stand next to her and act like you are scratching things off your list. It now looks like you eat the same thing and this is your big opportunity to say, "What are you making?"

The fruits and vegetable section is where all the action happens. People are just standing there squeezing fruits and staring at each other. Perfect opportunity to "break the Ice". The only thing you shouldn't do at a grocery store is this; if you want a person`s phone number make sure you are not in front of them in the check out line. This goes for any place that has a check out. If you are going to ask for phone numbers it is better to try to catch up to them than stand around waiting for them uncomfortably while their purchases are being tabulated.

Best bet is to chat with them is while behind them in line. If the person keeps talking or looking back at you, they are interested. They will show their interest again by taking their precious time getting to back to their car, giving you an opportunity to close the deal, and ask for their number or to ask them out!

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FLIRTING AT WORK!

(Q) It is acceptable to flirt at work?

(A) At work, flirting is usually acceptable only in certain areas, with certain people and at specific times or occasions. Each workplace or working environment has its own unwritten rules regarding flirting.

(Q) If allowed, where can I flirt?

(A) In some companies, the coffee machine or cafeteria may be the area to flirt, other companies may frown on any flirting during office hours, or between managers and staff, while others basically have no such rules.

(Q) Are there any "unwritten rules" regarding flirting in the workplace?

(A) Careful watching your co-workers is the best way to discover the unspoken flirting rules of your own workplace, make sure that you watch the behaviour of the most highly regarded individuals in your company, not the people who do not have much of a future in the company.

WHERE TO FLIRT!

There are plenty of places, where flirting is socially acceptable! Places like celebrations, parties and probably best known of all..Bars!

Bars, night clubs, pubs etc are great places to practice your flirting at! In a bar, the best place to flirt is around the bar counter! This is known as the "public zone!" It is generally accepted to flirt in the "public zone"! You can start conversations, offer to buy a drink etc! The less socially acceptable places to flirt at in a bar are table or worse of all, the tables furthest from the bar!

Other socially accepted places to flirt are "places of Education" (believe it or not) and even grocery stores! In palces of education, enrolling in a course or evening class provides a better place for relaxed, enjoyable flirting than frequenting bars and night-clubs. In a "grocery store", the best place to flirt is to start a conversation with someone you are interested in while behind them in line. If the person keeps talking or looking back at you, they are interested!

HOW TO FLIRT

Whenever you walked into a grocery store, gas station, bank, club or wherever there are people, try to notice the people you would like to meet then make eye contact. First, look at the girl`s ring finger to see if she is married before you start to flirt with her. If she is a single and has caught you looking, then the next time she looks at you, make eye contact and smile. Smile, and tilt your head slightly to the left or right. This type of smile shows that you are really confident. Practice this smile. Practice this smile right now while you are reading this, also practice the smile while standing in front of a mirror.

Location, Location, Location

Locations where you will meet women is not as important as what you do when you meet them; facial expressions. Your facial expressions is something you take to every location and opportunity when flirting.

What really gets people attention is eye contact and smiling at each other. Use your "tilted" smile and compliment her and say you "had to come over and talk to her". When you are talking close to them, don`t talk loud, talk soft as if your tone of your alone suggests seduction.

Without saying a word your eyes should say "sex", but your demeanor is safe, warm and welcoming. Make your play and move away. Leave that person thinking about how much chemistry you created in a matter of seconds and they will crave it again. Please come back to see more articles of mine.

DO PICK UP LINES WORK?

  A very tough question to answer. It all depends on the person, the location and other factors, (amount of alcohol consumed...l.o.l.). Just treat the Pick up lines as introduction lines

I don`t think there is anybody who believes that all it takes is to use the Pick up lines by itself to actually get laid. If you believe that pick up lines are that magical, can I sell you North America?

You walk into a bar and sit down next to an attractive woman in a low cut blouse and mini skirt. You say to her, "Did it hurt? ... When you fell from heaven, did it hurt?"

She laughs and smiles. You smile back. Wow, you think, these Pick up lines are working... A few seconds of silence go by... What do I say now?, you asks yourself.

Suddenly nervous, you fumbles for some words, and, not knowing what to say next, you become embarrased, and turns your attention back to the dance floor...

For the most guys, this is where pick up lines will always fail...

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY NEXT?

So what do you say next? Let`s start with the basics.

Great pick up lines should accomplish one thing, and one thing only:

Break the ice, and get a good laugh.

The Best Pick Up Line are those lines that succeeds in breaking the ice with a good laugh.

From now on, think of good pick up lines as simple
FUNNY ICE-BREAKERS. Compare yourself to a great comedian. Your goal is to step up to the microphone and say an opening `pick up line` right from the start that the audience will find funny.

More than anything, your pick up lines need to be UNIQUE. And, 99% of the time, also NON-SEXUAL. You don`t want to come across as a pervert.

Once you`ve got the person you are interested in, laughing at your pick up lines, change to a more relaxed, confident conversation.

The impression you want to give her is that, you can be funny, but you`re not a full time comedian, which can become quickly annoying and boring.

Pick Up Lines Have One Goal - To Break The Ice

Summarizing what we`ve just talked about, you have to go from funny pick up lines that get women laughing, to a relaxed, confident conversation, that gets women talking with you.

You`ve just gone from pick up line to conversation that develops communication, trust, and attraction in less than 60 seconds.

I have just revealed a secret of "expert" pick up artists. Do you see how easy it can be with the right practice?

Conversation that leads to strong sexual attraction, is an easy art to master with study and practice, can be summed up by, "BE IN EVERY WORD." Pay attention to what she is saying to you, ask questions, and make her feel she is the most important person in the world!

"BE IN EVERY WORD." is probably the most powerful self-help phrase ever written for men on succeeding with women.

When it comes to pick up lines, you need to train yourself to BE IN EVERY WORD. Think in terms of a Hollywood actor.

"Be in every word" with stage presence, voice, and personality.

Follow your best Pick Up Line with relaxed conversation, and you now have the perfect combination to be highly successful in the dating game.

SAMPLE PICK UP LINES

I kinda of like this idea of blogging. It is like keeping a journal.But I wonder..will other people read this..can I make money from a blog...what should I specialize in..maybe a Sample.."Is that the sun coming up... or is that just you lighting up my world?"or how to get a free website or blog
Yes, I am shamelessly promoting the sites that I have made from scratch..call it my ego, or the strong desire for public acclamation..really don't know and I really don't care..I just like putting my thoughts down in words..I guess that is all that I will share right now! I try to make up my mind what to do till then, have a good day!

PICK UP LINES (1)

I finally broke down and decided to post my very first posting for this blog! ! I don't know what I am going to put into this Blog, maybe I put some links to free garbage, Nah, not my style! Maybe I will post my thoughts about George Bush, NAH! Maybe, I will share some Pick up lines from "one of the web's best kept secret" PICK UP LINES ,Nah I just keep that website a a secret! Maybe I should put some personal info about myself on my first post, Nah, not so early in our blog relationship, ! I guess I will call it quits right now and come back to blog in a day or so!




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