FLIRTING TIPS- EXCHANGING INFO!

EXCHANGING PERSONAL INFO: The most important thing about flirting is the exchanging of personal information. The conversation can hardly be called a flirting unless partners share some personal information.

When you first meet, sharing of personal information, even something like the weather or favourite sport, is a step towards intimacy.

If your partner discloses some such detail, you should share some similar information about yourself, perhaps something a little more personal. If the person you are flirting with likes you, they will most likely match your sharing with something similar. This kind of disclosure is a much more subtle and less threatening than asking direct personal questions.

The secret of successful flirting is to raise the level of intimacy gradually, try to maintain a balance between your sharing and the other person. Try not to reveal too much, or reveal too little.

If you are a male try not interpret disclosure of personal information from the other person as a sign of sexual availability.




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FLIRTING TIPS - TALKING

TALKING: No one can tell you exactly what words to use, when flirting, but it is possible to provide some general guidelines on what to talk about, and how to express yourself, particularly in terms of mistakes and pitfalls to avoid.

Here is a list of real turn-off's:
(1)Being negative, talking too much about the bad side of life, and constantly complain about the world or your own problems.

(2)Talking too much about yourself and showing too little interest in others.

(3)Only talking about superficial things, repeating jokes and stories.

(4)Talking too slowly, pausing too long, taking too long to make a point.

(5)Failing to take full part in the conversation or express opinions.

(6)Talking in a monotone, not making eye-contact, expressing too little emotion.

(7)Using a serious tone of voice and expression, even when your partner is trying to be light-hearted or humorous.

(8)Easily sidetracked, engaging in meaningless chatter, too much slang.

Compliments, are almost always welcomed, and do not have to be witty or original. Do not be afraid of paying simple compliments such as "That's a nice jacket" or "That colour really looks nice on you", as they can be very effective.

Clearly, excessive use of compliments will make you seem artifically sweet, and the person you are flirting with might get bored with too much overwhelming niceness. Of all the ways you can bore someone, this is the least offensive way.

As a matter of basic social skills, males should avoid paying women embarrassing or offensive compliments. Some men need to learn that it is entirely possible to convey to a female friend or acquaintance that you find her physically attractive, without being rude.

A simple, admiring comment such as "You look lovely" or "You look pretty" or "You look stunning" is enough. Anything more detailed will cause embarrassment or offence. Make sure that the body-language is right as well: address the compliment to her face, not to her chest and without your eyes travelling up and down her body.

There are times, places and situations where a comment on a woman's appearance, no matter how innocent, would be inappropriate and potentially offensive. Only comment on a woman's appearance

(1) if you know her well enough and not as an opening line.(2) At times, places and situations where appearance is relevant - i.e. where it would be acceptable to comment on a man's appearance. If the situation is not one in which you would compliment a male acquaintance on his flattering new jacket or haircut, do not comment on a her appearance either.

Do not comment on a woman's figure unless you know her well, this compliment might please a girlfriend or close female friend.




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FLIRTING TIPS- FACIAL GESTURES!

FLIRTING FACIAL GESTURES: An ability to understand facial expressions will improve your chances of successful flirting, as well as knowing what you are signalling with your own expressions.

Some expressions can be effective even from a distance,the "eyebrow-flash", for example, which is raising the eyebrows very briefly is universally known and used as a long-distance greeting signal.

When you see someone you know, but are not near enough to speak, the eyebrow-flash shows that they have been noticed and recognised.

Use this non-verbal "Hello!" in situations where we cannot use the verbal equivalent, either because of distance or social convention.

If you are desperate to attract the attention of an attractive stranger across a crowded party, you could try the "eyebrow-flash". The person that you are trying to flirt with might think that you must be a friend or acquaintance, even though they do not recognise you.

When you approach, may be already be wondering who you are. You can use this confusion to initiate a lively discussion about where you might have met before. Such conversations start with possible shared interests or friends or habits, and sooner or later involve mutual disclosure of personal information.

So, assuming your target finds you attractive, an eyebrow-flash with appropriate follow-up could leapfrog you into instant intimacy.

If your target does not find you attractive, the eyebrow-flash strategy may backfire.

If your target is attracted to you, this may be more obvious from facial expressions than by words. Women are generally better than men at reading these expressions, but both have equal difficulty in seeing through people's expressions when they are controlling their faces to hide their real feelings.

Although faces do express genuine feelings, any facial expression that occur naturally can also be artificial for social purposes.

Smiles and frowns, can be spontaneous expressions of happiness or anger, but they can also be manufactured as deliberate signals, such as frowning to indicate doubt or displeasure or smiling to signal approval or agreement, etc.

We rely more on facial expressions than on any other form of body language. When communicating, we watch our companions' faces rather than their hands or feet, and their facial signals to tell us what effect we are having, and how to interpret what they say.

Although people are better at controlling their facial expressions than other aspects of body language, the following clues will help you to detect insincerity.

Let's say the person that you are flirting with smiles at you. How do you know whether this smile is real or fake? There are four ways of telling the difference.

First, real smiles produce wrinkles around the eyes, which will not appear if the smile is forced out of politeness.

Second, fake smiles tend to be asymmetrical (stronger on the left side of the face in right-handed people and on the right side of the face in left-handed people).The third clue to insincerity is in the timing of the smile: unspontaneous smiles tend to occur at socially inappropriate moments in the conversation (e.g. a few seconds after you have made a funny remark, rather than immediately).

Finally, there is a clue in the duration of the smile, as a fake smile tends to be held for a longer time and then disappear.

When observing facial expressions, remember that although an expressive face - showing amusement, surprise, agreement etc. at the appropriate moments and may indicate that they return your interest, people do naturally differ in their degree and style of emotional expression.

Women naturally smile more than men, and show emotions more clearly in their facial expressions.

You are also likely to interpret expressions differently depending on who is making them. People may read the same expression as "fear" when they see it on a female, but as "anger" when it appears on a male.

If an attractive stranger smiles at you, it could be that they find you attractive, but they could also be an outgoing, sociable person who smiles a lot.

When considering the effect of your own facial expressions, these factors must also be taken into account. People tend to be put off by levels of expressiveness that are considerably higher or lower than what they are used to, so try to match the amount of emotion you express with your face to the person you are flirting with.

Your face should be constantly informative during a flirtatious conversation. A blank face, can be taken as lack of interest when you are listening and an absence of facial emphasis when you are speaking can be disturbing to the viewer.

Show interest and understanding when listening, and to show interest and comprehension when speaking, through facial signals such as eyebrows raised to display surprise or for emphasis; the corners of the mouth turning up in amusement; nodding to indicate agreement; frowning in puzzlement; smiling to show approval, or to indicate that what you are saying should not be taken too seriously, and so on.

Finally, remember that the person you are flirting with is likely to be watching you for tiny signs of insincerity, so a social smile will be more attractive than none at all.

FLIRTING TIPS- FLIRTING GESTURES!

FLIRTING GESTURES: The gestures that we use can signal interest, attraction and invitation - or discomfort, dislike and rejection.

When flirting, it is important to be aware of these cues, both in "reading" their body-language and in controlling the messages you are sending with your own gestures.

In conversation, gestures are mainly used to enliven, clarify and "punctuate" our speech, or to show understanding to what the other person is saying. In a flirtatious encounter, the amount of gestures, the directions of the gestures and the co-ordination of gestures can indicate the degree of interest and involvement your partner feels towards you.

Generally, however, someone who is interested in you will be more lively and animated in conversation, using more gestures when speaking in order to keep your attention, and more responsive gestures to show interest when you are speaking.

Similarly, you can signal in your partner, and keep their attention focused on you, by enhancing your speech with appropriate gestures: shifting your hands or head slightly at the end of sentences, using downward hand movements to emphasise a point. When your partner is speaking, you can show responsiveness by nodding in agreement, throwing up your hands in surprise, bringing them together in a "silent clap" of appreciation, etc.

Nodding can be used to control conversations. If you make single, brief nods while your partner is speaking, this a simple signs of attentiveness, which will maintain the flow of communication from the speaker. Double nods will change the rate at which the other person speaks, usually speeding up the flow, while triple nods or single, slow nods often interrupt the flow altogether, confusing the speakers that they might stop in their tracks. So, if you want to express interest and keep them talking with you, stick to brief single nods.

You can also watch for gestures which indicate anxiety and nervousness, such as hand-clasping movements and palm-rubbing. Basically anxious gestures are directed towards the anxious person's own body, while movements, directed away from the body, are a sign of confidence. As well as watching for these signals in your partner, you can control the impression you are making by using more confident, outward gestures.

As with posture, the greatest involvement and harmony is achieved when gestures of one person are echoed or reflected by the other. You may have noticed that this tends to happen a lot between people who like each other. Watch lovers in a bar or pub, and you will see that they often tend to lift their drinks and sip at the same time, and that many of their other body movements and gestures will be similar.

You can use this technique as a highly effective flirting technique. If you feel the conversation is not flowing easily, or seems awkward and uncomfortable, try to be more sensitive to the patterns of their gestures and body movements, and to reflect these in your own body language.

If the person that you are flirting with begins to copy their body language with yours, this is a sign that they are comfortable with you. Do not assume that this necessarily indicates sexual interest.

Female hair-flipping and head-tossing were among the gestures most often regarded as sexually flirtatious, along with repeated leg-crossing and movements designed to draw attention to their breasts.
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FLIRTING TIPS - FLIRTING DISTANCE

FLIRTING DISTANCE: The distance between you and the other person when flirting is important, simply because it affects his or her impression of you, and the quality of your interaction.

Perhaps even more importantly, paying attention to the other person's use of distance will tell you a great deal about their reactions and feelings towards you.

When you first approach an attractive stranger, having established an indication of mutual interest through eye contact,before moving any closer try to make eye contact again at about 4ft away.

At 4 ft, you are on the borderline between what are known as the "social zone" which is approximately from 4 to 12 ft and the "personal zone" which is approximately 18in to 4ft.

If you receive a positive response at 4ft, move to "arm's length" which is approximately about 2ft 6inches. If you approach much closer than this, especially within the 18in "personal/intimate zone" border, they may feel uncomfortable.

The "intimate zone" which is approximately less than 18inches is reserved for lovers, family and very close friends. If you are close enough to whisper and be heard, you are probably too close for comfort.

Especially in face-to-face encounters, these distance rules apply . When we are side by side with someone, it is easier to tolerate close distances.

This is because when you are alongside someone, it is easier just to turn away or avoid eye contact, which limits your involvement with the other person.

At the bar counter of a pub, you can therefore approach a bit closer than "arm's length" if you are alongside your target. Avoid "intrusive" body-language such as prolonged eye contact or touching.

The other person's discomfort wil show in their body language, if you have misjudged the appropriate distance. They may attempt to turn away or avert their gaze to avoid eye contact.

You may also see "barrier signals" such as folded or tightly crossed legs, or rubbing the neck with the elbow pointed towards you. If you see any of these signs, back off!

Finally, remember that different personalities may also react differently to your approach. Extroverts and anyone who feel at ease in company will be comfortable with closer distances than introverts and shy or nervous types.

Even the same person may vary from day to day, according to mood: when we are feeling depressed or irritable, we find close distances more uncomfortable.

FLIRTING-POSTURES (NEXT)



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FLIRTING TIPS- HOW TO FLIRT!

The first key to successful flirting is not to show off and impress or be a braggart, to show that you like someone. If the person knows that you find them interesting and attractive, they will be more inclined to like you.

You don't have to be a rocket scientists to prove it. You already know that when you are told someone find you attractive, or hear that someone has said something nice or that they admired you, you automatically become more interested in this person- even if it a person that you have never met!

Showing that you like someone, and knowing whether or not the attraction is mutual, involves a combination of verbal and non-verbal communication skills.
When asked about flirting, most people are more worried about the verbal element: the problems of knowing what to say, finding the right words, etc.

In fact, body-language, tone of voice, etc. - is much more important, especially in the first stages of any flirtation.

When you first meet new people, their first impression of you will be based on your appearance and body-language, on your style of speaking and lastly on what you actually say.

Their body lanquage will tell you much more about their feelings towards you than the words they use. People show attitudes such as liking and disliking by the way they say it and the gestures, posture, and expressions that they use when they speak.

A typical polite greeting such as "pleased to meet you", for example, can mean anything from "I think you are attractive" to "Sorry, not interested in you", depending on the tone of voice, body language of the speaker.


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FLIRTING TIPS- WHO TO FLIRT WITH!

FLIRTING FOR FUN!

Basically, you can flirt with more or less anyone. An exchange of admiring glances or a bit of light-hearted flirtatious talk can brighten the day, raise self-esteem and help you make friends. Flirtation at this basic level is harmless fun, and no one could possibly have any objections.

Do not intentionally flirt with people who are married or attached. Most people in long-term relationships can cope with a bit of flirting, and may even benefit from
knowing that others find them or their partners attractive, but couples differ in their tolerance of flirtatious behaviour, and it is important to be alert to signs of discomfort or distress.

Men have a tendency to mistake friendly behaviour for sexual flirting. This is not because we are stupid or deluded, but because we see the world in more sexual terms than women.

Women need to be particularly careful to avoid sending ambiguous signals in interactions with married men, and men need to be aware that married/attached males may misinterpret friendly behaviour towards their wives/girlfriends. Otherwise, light-hearted flirtation is both harmless and enjoyable.

INTENTIONAL FLIRTING:
But flirting is also an essential element of the mate-selection process, and when you are "intentional flirting", rather than just 'flirting for fun', you need to be a bit more selective about your choice of target.

In looking for a mate, follow these two basic rules about who to flirt with and you will increase your chances of success and reduce embarrassing
rejections.

1. Do initiate flirtation with people of roughly the same level of attractiveness as yourself?

Women are more critical of their own physical appearance than man. This is partly because beauty standards for males are much less than for females, and a wider variety of shapes and features are considered attractive. But some men are also inclined to overestimate their attractiveness. If you are honest male, and do not consider yourself good-looking, remember that most men lack expertise social interaction, so polishing up your flirting skills could give you the edge over a more handsome rival.

2. Don't flirt with people who are unlikely to return your interest.

Even if you are not looking for a long-term mate, you will enjoy flirting more with someone who is interested in you. So it makes sense to approach people who are likely to see you as at least a possible partner, rather than those likely to dismiss you as unsuitable.




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FLIRTING TIPS- FLIRTING IN THE WORKPLACE

WORKPLACE: At work, flirting is usually acceptable only in certain areas, with certain people and at specific times or occasions. Each workplace or working environment has its own unwritten rules regarding
flirting.

In some companies, the coffee machine or cafeteria may be the area to flirt, other companies may frown on any flirting during office hours, or between managers and staff, while others basically have
no such rules.

Careful watching your co-workers is the best way to discover the unspoken flirting rules of your own workplace, make sure that you watch the behaviour of the most highly regarded individuals in your
company, not the people who do not have much of a future in your company.

PARTICIPANT SPORT OR HOBBIES: Almost any sport or hobby can involve flirting. The level of flirting tends to be related to the standards of the participants and their enthusiasm towards the sport or hobby.

You will generally find a lot of flirting among beginners to the sport or hobby and less flirting among the more serious, competitive participants . There are of course exceptions to this rule, but
before joining a team or club, it is worth trying to find out if the members have burning ambitions to play in the national championships or win prestigious awards for their handiwork. If you are
just looking for opportunities to flirt, avoid the serious groups, and seek out clubs full of happy, sociable under-achievers.

SPECTATOR EVENTS: Although most sporting events and other spectator pastimes (such as theatre or cinema) have the advantage of providing conversation topics of mutual interest, they are not good places to
flirt, because social contact may limited to a short interval or breaks or require "missing the action".




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FLIRTING TIPS- WHERE TO FLIRT!

PARTIES: Flirting is acceptable at parties, celebrations or other social events. At these events (e.g. Christmas/New Year Office parties) flirting is almost expected. The reason for this is that at most
parties or celebrations, social rules are temporarily relaxed. This does not mean abandoning all your inhibitions, letting it rip and behaving exactly as you please.

DRINKING PLACES: Flirting is also socially acceptable where alcohol is served, such as bars, pubs, night-clubs, restaurants, etc.

Flirting in drinking-places is, however, subject to more conditions and restrictions than at parties. In pubs, for example, the area around the bar counter is understood to be the "public zone", where initiating conversation with a stranger is acceptable, whereas sitting at a table usually indicates a desire for privacy. Tables furthest from the bar counter are usually the most
"private" zones.

Most food-oriented places frown upon flirting between strangers, while those dedicated to drinking or dancing encourage it.

PLACES OF EDUCATION: Because they are full of young single people, Schools, colleges, universities and other educational places are good places for flirting. Because of the shared lifestyle and the informal
atmosphere, and the concerns of the student, it easy for them to initiate conversation with each other. Simply by being students, they all ready have a lot in common, and do not need to struggle to
find topics to talk about.

Flirting is officially somewhat more frowned upon in places of education than in drinking-places, as getting an education is supposed to be more important than socializing, but in many cases the difference is not very noticeable. Taking a course or evening class provides better chances for relaxed, enjoyable flirting than frequenting bars and night-clubs.

GROCERY STORE: The Grocery Store has been and always will be one of the best pick up spots for singles. Notice that when you go shopping for groceries, you will never see so many single people staring at each
other without alcohol in their systems.

The way to flirt at a grocery store is bring a grocery list, after you have a few things in your cart and you happen to see that hot person, you had your eyes on near the frozen hamburgers you
can walk over stand next to her and act like you are scratching things off your list. It now looks like you eat the same thing and this is your big opportunity to say, "What are you making?"

The fruits and vegetable section is where all the action happens. People are just standing there squeezing fruits and staring at each other. Perfect opportunity to "break the Ice". The only thing you shouldn't do at a grocery store is this; if you want a person`s phone number make sure you are not in front of them in the check out line. This goes for any place that has a check out. If you are going to ask for phone numbers it is better to try to catch up to them than stand around waiting for them uncomfortably while their purchases are being tabulated.

Best bet is to chat with them is while behind them in line. If the person keeps talking or looking back at you, they are interested. They will show their interest again by taking their precious time getting to back to their car, giving you an opportunity to close the deal, and ask for their number or to ask them out!

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FLIRTING AT WORK!

(Q) It is acceptable to flirt at work?

(A) At work, flirting is usually acceptable only in certain areas, with certain people and at specific times or occasions. Each workplace or working environment has its own unwritten rules regarding flirting.

(Q) If allowed, where can I flirt?

(A) In some companies, the coffee machine or cafeteria may be the area to flirt, other companies may frown on any flirting during office hours, or between managers and staff, while others basically have no such rules.

(Q) Are there any "unwritten rules" regarding flirting in the workplace?

(A) Careful watching your co-workers is the best way to discover the unspoken flirting rules of your own workplace, make sure that you watch the behaviour of the most highly regarded individuals in your company, not the people who do not have much of a future in the company.

WHERE TO FLIRT!

There are plenty of places, where flirting is socially acceptable! Places like celebrations, parties and probably best known of all..Bars!

Bars, night clubs, pubs etc are great places to practice your flirting at! In a bar, the best place to flirt is around the bar counter! This is known as the "public zone!" It is generally accepted to flirt in the "public zone"! You can start conversations, offer to buy a drink etc! The less socially acceptable places to flirt at in a bar are table or worse of all, the tables furthest from the bar!

Other socially accepted places to flirt are "places of Education" (believe it or not) and even grocery stores! In palces of education, enrolling in a course or evening class provides a better place for relaxed, enjoyable flirting than frequenting bars and night-clubs. In a "grocery store", the best place to flirt is to start a conversation with someone you are interested in while behind them in line. If the person keeps talking or looking back at you, they are interested!

HOW TO FLIRT

Whenever you walked into a grocery store, gas station, bank, club or wherever there are people, try to notice the people you would like to meet then make eye contact. First, look at the girl`s ring finger to see if she is married before you start to flirt with her. If she is a single and has caught you looking, then the next time she looks at you, make eye contact and smile. Smile, and tilt your head slightly to the left or right. This type of smile shows that you are really confident. Practice this smile. Practice this smile right now while you are reading this, also practice the smile while standing in front of a mirror.

Location, Location, Location

Locations where you will meet women is not as important as what you do when you meet them; facial expressions. Your facial expressions is something you take to every location and opportunity when flirting.

What really gets people attention is eye contact and smiling at each other. Use your "tilted" smile and compliment her and say you "had to come over and talk to her". When you are talking close to them, don`t talk loud, talk soft as if your tone of your alone suggests seduction.

Without saying a word your eyes should say "sex", but your demeanor is safe, warm and welcoming. Make your play and move away. Leave that person thinking about how much chemistry you created in a matter of seconds and they will crave it again. Please come back to see more articles of mine.