Neither person knows what the other's intentions and feelings towards them are. Because expressing intentions and feelings verbally involves a high risk of embarrassment or possible rejection, body language becomes the main expression of communication.
Unlike words, body language can signal invitation, acceptance or refusal without being too obvious, without causing offence or making binding commitments.
The non-verbal flirting techniques contained in this section are powerful signals, and please use with caution.
Women should be extra careful when using these signals of interest and attraction as men can and often mistake friendliness for flirting and if your signals of interest are too direct and obvious, men will mistake them for sexual availability.
EYE CONTACT: Your eyes are probably your most important flirting tool. We think that our eyes are primary used for receiving information, but they are also senders of social signals.
How you look at another person, meet their gaze and look away can make all the difference between a successful, enjoyable flirtation and an embarrassing or hurtful moment.
Looking directly into the eyes of another person - is such a powerful act of communication that we normally use it for very brief glances.
Prolonged eye contact between two people indicates intense emotion, and can express love or hostility. Among a crowd of strangers in a public setting, eye contacts will generally last only a fraction of second, and most people avoid making any eye contact at all.
Even from across a crowded room at a party, you can signal your interest in someone merely by making eye contact and attempting to hold your target's gaze for more than one second (do not do this longer, or you will seem threatening).
If the person you are interested maintains eye contact with you for more than one second, the chances are that they might be interested. If after this first contact, your target looks away briefly and then looks back to meet your gaze a second time, you can safely assume that they are interested. If you receive a smile, you can approach your target with some confidence.
If your target avoids making eye contact with you, or looks away after a fraction of a second and does not look back again, you should probably assume that the person is not interested. Unless they are just a very shy person - and some females are wary of signalling any interest in male strangers. The only way to find out is by close observation of your target's behaviour towards others.
Does she consistently avoid direct eye-contact with men? Does he seem nervous, anxious or aloof in his interactions with other women? If so, your target's reluctance to meet your gaze may be nothing personal, and it might be worth approaching, but only with considerable caution.
Once you have approached your target, you will need to make eye contact again in order to strike up a conversation. As soon as your eyes meet, begin to speak. Once a conversation begins, it is normal for eye contact to be broken as the speaker looks away.
In conversations, the person who is speaking looks away more than the person who is listening, and turn-taking is governed by a characteristic pattern of looking, eye contact and looking away.
So, to signal that you have finished speaking and invite a response, look back at your target again. To show interest while your target is speaking, you need to look at their face for about three-quarters of the time, in glances lasting between one and seven seconds.
The person speaking will normally look at you for less than half this time, and direct eye contact will be intermittent, rarely lasting more than one second. When your target has finished speaking, and expects a response, he or she will look at you and make brief eye contact again to indicate that it is your turn.
The basic rules are: glance at the other person's face more when you are listening, glance away more when you are speaking and make brief eye contact to initiate turn-taking. The key words here are "glance" and "brief": avoid prolonged staring either at the other person or away.
The most common mistake people make when flirting is to overdo the eye contact in a premature attempt to increase intimacy.
This only makes the other person feel uncomfortable, and may send misleading signals. Some men also blow their chances by having a conversation with a woman's breasts, rather than her face.
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