Know the rules of conversation, the unwritten laws of talking and listening. The most enjoyable conversations may seem entirely spontaneous, but the people involved are still obeying rules. The difference is that they are following the rules automatically, without consciously trying. But understanding how the rules of conversation work will help you in conversations and to flirt more successfully
Because women have better verbal and communication skills and are more socially sensitive, they tend to be more skilled at informal social conversation than men. But men can easily learn to be as skilled in the art of conversation by following a few simple rules. Men who take the trouble to improve their conversation skills have a definite advantage when flirting .
OPENING LINES
When the subject of flirting comes up, people seem to be obsessed with the using the right opening lines. Men talk about lines that work and hat have failed! While women laugh about men's use of opening lines, and all of us, would like to find the perfect, way to strike up a conversation with someone we find attractive.
Your opening line is not very important, The fact is that opening lines are seldom original, witty or elegant, and you should not expects them to be. The best opening lines are simple attempts to start a conversation.
Everyone knows that "Nice day, isn't it?" is a basic conversation starter and will do just fine. Just cause this opening line sounds like a questions, does not mean that you are unsure about the weather, it means that the you are trying to start a conversation.
A friendly response with positive body language, means "Yes, I'll talk to you"! But a expressionless response with body-language showing lack of interest means "No, I don't want to talk to you"! Also no verbal response at all, with body language signalling annoyance or dislike, means "Leave me alone!".
If you are indoors say something like "Isn't it a bit crowded in here?" or "Not much happening in here tonight, eh?") or commenting on the food, drink, music, etc., will serve same purpose as the weather comment. The words are unimportant, just make a vague, impersonal comment, either phrased as a question or as though you were asking a question.
This formula is extremely effective as a method of initiating conversation with strangers. This type of comment is unthreatening and non-intrusive; the questioning tone or 'isn't it?' ending invites a response and is not as demanding as a direct or open question.
The direct question demands and requires a reply, the interrogative comment allows the other person to respond minimally, or not respond at all, if he or she does not wish to talk to you.
In some social contexts - such as those involving sports, hobbies, learning, business or other activities having shared interests makes starting a conversation much easier. Your opening line can ask about the activity in question. There may even be a ritual procedure to follow for initiating conversation with a stranger. At a dance, for example, you can ask "Do you know if they have these dances regularly?" or something similiar.
Just make a general, impersonal comment on the event, activity, circumstances or surroundings, with a rising intonation or "isn't it?" type of ending. The person that you are trying to flirt with will recognise this as a conversation-starter, and their response will tell you immediately whether or not it is welcomed.
Generally, the longer the response, the better. If your target responds to your comment and gives ananswer of the same length or longer, this is a good sign. A personalised response, i.e. one including the word 'I' (like "Yes, I love this weather") is even more positive. A personalised response ending in a question or interrogative (rising) intonation (as in "I thought it was supposed to clear up by this afternoon?") is even better, and a personalised response involving a personalised question, i.e. a response including the words 'I' and 'you', is the most positive of all.
So, if you say "Nice day, isn't it?" and your target replies "Yes, I was getting so tired of all that rain, aren't you?", you are definitely in with a chance. There is nothing original, witty or clever about the above exchange. Don't dismiss the answer as polite, boring and insignificant. In fact, a great deal of vital social information has been exchanged. The opening comment has been recognised as a friendly invitation to a conversation, the invitation has been accepted, they have revealed something about themself , expressed interest in you, and even suggested that you might have something in common!
The biggest mistake most people make with opening lines is to try to start a flirtation, rather than simply trying to start a conversation. If you think about your opening line as starting a conversation, rather than starting a flirtation, and pay close attention to the verbal and body language response, you cannot go wrong. Even if they do not find you attractive and avoids your invitation to talk, you will avoid causing offence and you will avoid the humiliation of a direct rejection.
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