FLIRTING TIPS- TOUCH!

TOUCH:Touching is a powerful, subtle and complex form of communication. Touch can be used to convey a surprising variety of messages. Different touches can be used to express agreement, affection, or attraction; to offer support; to emphasise a point; to call for attention or participation; to direct; to greet; to congratulate; to establish or reinforce power-relations and to negotiate levels of intimacy.

Even the lightest touch can have a influence on our perceptions and relationships. Even a light, brief touch on the arm during an encounter between strangers has both immediate and lasting positive effects. Polite requests for help or directions, produced much more positive results when accompanied by a light touch on the arm.

When flirting, it is therefore important to remember that the language of touch, if used correctly, can help to advance the relationship, but use of this wrongly and you could ruin your chances forever.

Here are a few basic rules-of-thumb for first encounters with strangers of the opposite sex.

The first rule, for both sexes, is: touch, but be careful. Women are much less comfortable about being touched than men. Take care to avoid any touches which may seem threatening or over-familiar. Men shouldn't interpret women's touching as sexual invitations.

Appropriate touching will have positive benefits, but touching should initially be restricted to universally acceptable areas and levels. As a general rule, the arm is the safest place to touch A brief, light touch on the arm, to draw attention, express support or emphasise a point, is likely to be acceptable and to enhance your companion's positive feelings towards you.

Unless your companion is exceptionally shy and reserved, negative reactions to a simple arm-touch such as pulling the arm away probably indicate dislike or distrust.

If your companion finds you likeable or attractive, after a brief arm-touch, watch for other positive body-language signals, such as increased eye-contact, moving closer to you, more open posture or postural echo, more smiling, etc. Your arm-touch may even prompt an increase in verbal intimacy, so listen for any disclosure of personal information, or more personal questions.

If there are signs of a positive reaction to your arm-touch, you can try another arm-touch, this time touch a little longer. If this results in more signs ofintimacy from your companion, you might consider moving to a hand-touch.

A hand-touch, other than a sign of greeting or parting, is more personal than an arm-touch. By touching your companion's hand, you are opening negotiations towards more intimacy, so touch the hand lightly and briefly. Make it a question, not an order.

A negative reaction to your hand-touch, does not necessarily mean that your companion dislikes you, but it can indicate that your attempt to advance to the next level is either premature or unwelcome. A very positive reaction, can be taken as permission to try another hand-touch at an appropriate moment later on.

Positive reactions to a second hand-touch such as moving closer to you, reciprocal arm- and hand-touching, along with more personal questions, more disclosure of personal information and more expression of emotion - can be taken as permission to proceed, with caution, to nextlevel of intimacy. The next stages might involve a hand-squeeze or hand-hold, repeated twice before moving on to an arm over the shoulders, or perhaps a brief knee-touch. However any positive reactions to any of these touches can not be taken as permission to grope.)

Perform each touch two times before moving to the next level. By repeating the same touch, with a slightly longer period of time, you can check that reactions are still positive and acceptable. the double touch also tells your companion that the first touch was not accidental or unconscious, that you are looking for an increase in intimacy. Repeating the same touch before moving to the next level is a way of saying "Are you sure?".