On the positive side, people that use humour are looked upon as more likeable. Trust and attraction increase when a light-hearted humour is used. The use of humour can reduce anxiety and establish a relaxed mood which helps a relationship to develop more rapidly. A slightly sexual joke or comment can raise the level of intimacy in a flirtatious conversation.
Inappropriate use of humour can ruin your chance for a successful romance. Making a sexual joke or comment too early, especially before a realtionship has been established, is the verbal equivalent of a bra snap. Males are more likely to make this kind of fatal mistake than women. Women, should be extra cautious in their use of sexual humour, as men are inclined to interpret this as a sign of sexual availability.
Humour is an essential part of flirting if you avoid causing offence or giving misleading signals. Flirting is by definition a light-hearted, playful form of social interaction. Flirting can lead to a serious, long-term relationship, but avoid too much seriousness in the early stages of flirting. The ability for light-hearted playfulness is equally important in the longer term relationships.
To help reduce tension and awkwardness in the early stages of flirting use humour. In my web page on opening lines, I advised the use of universally recognised conversation-starters, such as comments on the weather. Humour can help make beginning converstion more effective. A simple ironic twist such as "Beautiful day, isn't it?" during a blizzard or major rain storm will raise a smile if your target finds you attractive.
After mutual attraction has been established, the use of humour when flirting come naturally. It is a very natural instinct to try to make the other person smile. Constant reassurance that we are liked and appreciated, and smiles and laughter provide that reassurance by the person we like.
Playful teasing, is common when fliritng. Playful teasing or flirting helps partners increase the personal sharing between people and keeps the tone light-hearted and non-serious, and helps to escalate the level of disclosure and intimacy in a non-threatening manner. Males respond well to this form of humour, as it resembles the good-humoured exchanges of insults which are their normal means of expressing friendship among males.
The most common mistakes in flirting using is humour that overusing humour or monopolising the joke-telling, and failing to notice the person you are flirting with is bored or becoming frustrated. Women are more cautious in their use of humour, while men are more inclined to avoid heart-to-heart emotional seriousness.
If you feel you that you use excessive or inadequate use of humour. Watch carefully for signs of boredom or embarrassment - such as feet or body turning away from you, forced smiles, reduced eye-contact, reduced verbal attention-signals, fidgeting, defensive arm-crossing, etc. If you are overdoing the humour, these are your some of your signs to tone it down a bit. If you are being too serious, try to lighten up!
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