FLIRTING FACIAL GESTURES: An ability to understand facial expressions will improve your chances of successful flirting, as well as knowing what you are signalling with your own expressions.
Some expressions can be effective even from a distance,the "eyebrow-flash", for example, which is raising the eyebrows very briefly is universally known and used as a long-distance greeting signal.
When you see someone you know, but are not near enough to speak, the eyebrow-flash shows that they have been noticed and recognised.
Use this non-verbal "Hello!" in situations where we cannot use the verbal equivalent, either because of distance or social convention.
If you are desperate to attract the attention of an attractive stranger across a crowded party, you could try the "eyebrow-flash". The person that you are trying to flirt with might think that you must be a friend or acquaintance, even though they do not recognise you.
When you approach, may be already be wondering who you are. You can use this confusion to initiate a lively discussion about where you might have met before. Such conversations start with possible shared interests or friends or habits, and sooner or later involve mutual disclosure of personal information.
So, assuming your target finds you attractive, an eyebrow-flash with appropriate follow-up could leapfrog you into instant intimacy.
If your target does not find you attractive, the eyebrow-flash strategy may backfire.
If your target is attracted to you, this may be more obvious from facial expressions than by words. Women are generally better than men at reading these expressions, but both have equal difficulty in seeing through people's expressions when they are controlling their faces to hide their real feelings.
Although faces do express genuine feelings, any facial expression that occur naturally can also be artificial for social purposes.
Smiles and frowns, can be spontaneous expressions of happiness or anger, but they can also be manufactured as deliberate signals, such as frowning to indicate doubt or displeasure or smiling to signal approval or agreement, etc.
We rely more on facial expressions than on any other form of body language. When communicating, we watch our companions' faces rather than their hands or feet, and their facial signals to tell us what effect we are having, and how to interpret what they say.
Although people are better at controlling their facial expressions than other aspects of body language, the following clues will help you to detect insincerity.
Let's say the person that you are flirting with smiles at you. How do you know whether this smile is real or fake? There are four ways of telling the difference.
First, real smiles produce wrinkles around the eyes, which will not appear if the smile is forced out of politeness.
Second, fake smiles tend to be asymmetrical (stronger on the left side of the face in right-handed people and on the right side of the face in left-handed people).The third clue to insincerity is in the timing of the smile: unspontaneous smiles tend to occur at socially inappropriate moments in the conversation (e.g. a few seconds after you have made a funny remark, rather than immediately).
Finally, there is a clue in the duration of the smile, as a fake smile tends to be held for a longer time and then disappear.
When observing facial expressions, remember that although an expressive face - showing amusement, surprise, agreement etc. at the appropriate moments and may indicate that they return your interest, people do naturally differ in their degree and style of emotional expression.
Women naturally smile more than men, and show emotions more clearly in their facial expressions.
You are also likely to interpret expressions differently depending on who is making them. People may read the same expression as "fear" when they see it on a female, but as "anger" when it appears on a male.
If an attractive stranger smiles at you, it could be that they find you attractive, but they could also be an outgoing, sociable person who smiles a lot.
When considering the effect of your own facial expressions, these factors must also be taken into account. People tend to be put off by levels of expressiveness that are considerably higher or lower than what they are used to, so try to match the amount of emotion you express with your face to the person you are flirting with.
Your face should be constantly informative during a flirtatious conversation. A blank face, can be taken as lack of interest when you are listening and an absence of facial emphasis when you are speaking can be disturbing to the viewer.
Show interest and understanding when listening, and to show interest and comprehension when speaking, through facial signals such as eyebrows raised to display surprise or for emphasis; the corners of the mouth turning up in amusement; nodding to indicate agreement; frowning in puzzlement; smiling to show approval, or to indicate that what you are saying should not be taken too seriously, and so on.
Finally, remember that the person you are flirting with is likely to be watching you for tiny signs of insincerity, so a social smile will be more attractive than none at all.
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